kia kaha.

experiencing an earthquake would have to be one of the most awful, traumatic things ever. there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, not a damn thing, except to ride it out & wait for the ground to stop shaking beneath your feet. back in September last year, I was woken up around 4am by the bed rocking & the house creaking, & it seemed to take forever to reach the doorframe, where I stood & called out to Lauren that she should stay put in the doorway to her room at the other end of the hallway. the noise of the quake-- a terrible, grinding roar-- was unearthly & like nothing I have ever heard before. that one was a 7.1 on the Richter scale, & the damage & destruction in the quake centre of Christchurch-- 150km away-- was immense & terrible to see, but amazingly, there was no loss of life at all, due to the fact it struck in the early hours of the morning when nearly everyone was safely tucked up in bed. a miracle indeed.

today, the ground shook again-- no grinding roar to warn us, nothing-- just a horrendous rolling motion that once again rocked the house from side to side, again & again, & just when I thought it would end, it kept on going. I couldn't make it to the door this time-- I was home alone, too utterly terrified to move. all I could think was, not again. oh my god, not again. but yes, again, & then finally the  ground stopped moving, only to start again not 5 minutes later. aftershocks are a bitch.

this one was 6.3 on the Richter scale, & again, centered 150km away in Christchurch. a smaller quake, yes-- but only 5km deep & occuring at 12.51pm when the city was vibrant & bustling with life, so the damage caused was far, far worse. as the tv footage started coming in from around Christchurch, the horrifying extent of the devastation became apparent. entire buildings collapsed like a house of cards, reduced to piles of bricks & dust & smoke & splintered wood. main city thoroughfares split apart, sections of ashphalt rising up like tiny mountains. burst pipes spilling water everywhere, the earth gone soft & treacherous through liquefaction. the people-- god, the people--some screaming, running, weeping, & others walking pale & dazed, with many--too many-- covered in blood, not quite believing what they were seeing, what was happening. not again.

65 confirmed dead so far. sixty-five, with that number expected to rise, possibly double, maybe more. people trapped in collapsed buildings, under piles of rubble, maybe in some of the crushed cars parked close to those toppled buildings. people who were at work or taking a lunch break, people who kissed their families goodbye that morning, never expecting, never even suspecting for a single moment that they wouldn't ever be coming home again.

my heart breaks for you, Christchurch--  for all the people who have lost loved ones. for the brave rescue teams who have to climb through your broken & buckled city, looking for those who survived & those who haven't, risking their own lives as the aftershocks still rumble on. for those 65 confirmed dead, & for those poor souls who are yet to be found.

no miracles this time.